For those of you who might be wondering what I’ve been tweeting about recently with the hashtag #NaNoWriMo – it means “National Novel Writing Month”… and I’m participating!

What emotions are going through me right now?

Nervousness.

Fear.

Anxiety.

Excitement.

Yes, more excitement than anything.

I’m about to write a book. Whether it is good or bad… whether it is going to remain private or become a New York Times Bestseller… and which of the 3 ideas is going to be written… are all yet to be determined.

But I’m writing a book.

It’s getting crossed off my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days.

And now I better go write.

So hopefully you all can buy my book.

Because being a published author would just be cool.

And if nothing else, it’ll distract me from all things dating related for a while.

click on image for source - NaNoWriMo.org

I’m trying my hand at some fiction again today with the Red Dress Club ladies. I’m pretty excited about this. Partly because I’m trying to get some ideas together for a novel writing class I’ll be taking at the beginning of March.

Your assignment for this week’s prompt is to write a piece that begins with the line, “I could never have imagined” and ends with the line, “Then the whole world shifted.” We’re going to stick with the 600-word limit this week. (<- Um, oops.)

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I could never have imagined this life. A life bustling with boundless energy. A house full of children, 5 under the age of 8, crammed into our little 3 bedroom abode. A life filled with toys strewn on all available floor space, diapers in every bag imaginable (seriously, my Coach bag even has a couple) and a minimum of 2 gallons of milk in the fridge at all times.

This is not what I signed up for when I met Bill.

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Barely 18, I was naïve when it came to men and relationships. I had dated some in high school, but nothing serious – no love stories or broken hearts. As I entered college life at Georgetown, I was surrounded by a whole new world in DC… from experiencing dorm life to the parties both on campus and off. I met new guys on a daily basis in class or just around town. On the advice from older friends (meaning a whole year older than me) when I arrived on campus, I was not going to date anyone seriously until at least my sophomore year – and then still at that point take it slow.

But that all changed when he came into my life.

My best friend and I were completing a scavenger hunt and we were in the final leg in a race to the finish. We just had to get one more picture… one or both of us with an Army guy. You would think that in Washington DC there would be all kinds of guys in uniform hovering over 2 cute college girls.

We had been to three bars, plus 2 that wouldn’t let us in because we were under age, seen countless sailors and marines in uniform but no soldiers. Finally giving up on the bar scene we decided to grab a sandwich at the pizza grinder place down the road from the dorm just as we had decided to concede defeat.

I noticed him the moment we walked in the door. The soldier was the most handsome man I had ever seen in my life, sitting in a booth near the back with 2 men not in uniform.

“Do I just go up to him?” I spoke softly in an almost whisper to my friend. “He’s so cute. I don’t know if I could talk to him.”

“Oh my god. You can’t chicken out on me now. Fine I’ll do it.” She started walking toward him as I held her arm in a half-hearted move to hold her back.

“No… I’ll do it.” Standing at the edge of the booth and mustering up all the bravery in the world, I blurted out, “I need my picture taken with a handsome soldier and I choose you.”

He looked dumbfounded for a moment, then smiled and the next words out of his mouth astounded me, “Only if you give me your phone number first.”

Needless to say, we got our picture with the soldier.

Bill was an army guy looking forward to his future out of the service. He – like me – said he didn’t want kids… but would rather be happiest traveling the globe discovering new places and showing me some of the sights he had seen during his tenure with the armed forces.

Everything moved quickly in our courtship. From the first date til less than 3 months later when we were – for all practical purposes – living together. We spent every moment possible with each other… dining out on the town, walking in the park or just staying in to watch a movie.

During breaks we would travel if he could get the time off. We went skiing in Maine over Christmas and to Paris in the spring. He showed me some of his favorite sights around Washington. I showed him around New York, Chicago and Philadelphia… some of the many places I had called home as I grew up.

So when I got sick just before my 19th birthday, he was there. He cared for me and tended to my every need. And when it didn’t seem to be subsiding, he took me to the doctor. Tests were completed, samples given over the hours that we seemingly sat in that room.

The doctor walked into the exam room carrying a chart and said “You’re pregnant.”

Then the whole world shifted.

For a number of weeks now I’ve been wanting to participate with the “Red Writing Hood” prompt… and finally had enough of my “stuff” together this week to get a little creative and do some fictional writing again. Whoa.

Your assignment: write a piece (fiction or non-fiction) inspired by a song. It can be any song of your choosing. If it is not clear from your story what the song is, throw us a bone and put a note at top or bottom of your post to let us know what you picked.

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Head over Feet

He looked at Kelly across the room. The most beautiful girl he knew in the world and his best friend. The best friend that wouldn’t take him seriously about dating that is.

From the day they became friends in college, as lab partners in Chem 101, Jeff wanted to date her… but there was always something stopping him. Especially the relationships and – at times – the actual distance that kept them apart. It was one of those things that nothing seemed to line up. It just wasn’t written in the stars, even though he “joked” about dating Kelly for so long… or at least that’s how she saw it.

Jeff always figured that she wanted nothing to do with him romantically. So he stayed friends with her – being her companion to events or openings that she didn’t already have someone lined up for. Being the person that she would call about another failed relationship and the sounding board about the problems with her family. Even if he weren’t going to be the boyfriend – he still wanted to be her friend – he still wanted to be in her life.

Kelly walked into the room… her eyes glancing around, confused. She saw seemingly everyone in her life. Everyone she cared about – and wondered what it was all about.

“Surprise!”

The shouts of joy came from everywhere and everyone in the room. It was louder than she could have tried to expect, especially since she thought she was just visiting Jeff before leaving to California. A last time to hang out and talk, the last time to share with him how much he meant to her over these years and how much she’s going to miss him while she’s away.

Kelly accepted the job on a whim. She just wanted to get away from the world around here, away from the hurt that she had experienced, away from the lies that had been told about her. And outside of knowing about 3 people in the area, she was scared out of her mind about moving to a new place. She knew she would meet new people and make new friends, but none of them would be like Jeff.

None of them would be Jeff.

As Kelly ventured through the room, greeting the friends that came to bid her luck and goodbye… she couldn’t help but notice that Jeff watched her every move. She knew he had to have been the one behind all of this. The one that went over the top when all she wanted was a quiet night to say goodbye to him – her best friend – a goodbye that would likely last forever. She didn’t plan to come back here. And she knew he wouldn’t travel.

They met at the middle of the room… music played, people around them talked and sang… but the silence between them was deafening. Jeff took her hand and led her outside. They sat down on the front steps of the house.

“I’m going to miss you. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.” And as he said it, he slipped a small black box – a jewelry box – into her hand.

“I know, but I couldn’t stay,” she replied looking at the box. “It’s just too hard. It’s too much to see reminders of what could have been all the time.”

“You didn’t have to leave though. Not that far away. Not across the country.” He protested.

“I’m sorry. We’ll stay in touch – we always do. You are my best friend. I need you.”

“I don’t know if I can do it again. This distance stuff sucks. I hate not being able to see you.”

“But you can come see me in California… or I can come back here once in a while.” Kelly said softly, knowing what he was going to say next.

“I’ll try. It’s just so expensive and I’d have to fly there. I’ll try.” Jeff replied a little trepedaciously.

“So this would be goodbye then. I leave in the morning.” She looked at her feet. Not really wanting to say goodbye to him. Not really wanting this moment to happen at all.

“Yeah, goodbye. For now at least. We’ll talk.” He said, voice quivering.

He stood up, gave her a hug – one that lasted much longer than she expected – and walked back into the party, leaving her standing on the steps. She opened the box and saw an emerald ring – her birthstone – and as she looked closer at the ring as she pulled it out, she saw a small engraved line.

“love you always”

And she knew what she had to do.

Because there wouldn’t be Jeff in California.

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Here are the lyrics to the song I chose: Head Over Feet by Alanis Morissette

This past month I {half-heartedly} participated in the Creativity Boot Camp put on by Madeline Bea. I would have liked to have done much more with it (and probably will go back and do just that in the near future) but until then, will be trying to participate more in The Sunday Creative that she is hosting.

And without further adieu… here is my entry for this week…

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An Open Heart {a fairytale}…

 The little girl began paging through the Bible on the end table as she sat next to her grandmother in an oversized chair at the corner of the cozy living room. Suddenly she stopped and looked at the page more intently, then to her grandmother and back at the Bible.

“Grandma, why do you like this Bible verse so much?” the little girl asked.

“What do you mean?” the grandmother said.

“The words are highlighted AND underlined. That means it must be REALLY special. Mom only underlines the words in her Bible” the young girl explained.

The grandmother straightened herself up in her chair and began speaking softly. “Let me tell you a story.”

“Once upon a time there was a young woman who was fair and beautiful. She had much going for her in life… a loving family, wonderful friends and a job she was very good at. But she wanted to be much more than that. You see, this girl had already done some extraordinary things in her life – like travelling the world – but there was something missing. Love.

“So one day she set out on her journey to find love, only to find that she ran into setbacks and roadblocks all along the journey. She looked and looked for the person that would be her lifelong companion. But no one appeared. And eventually her heart grew dismayed and she settled into a life where she thought she would be alone forever.

“The young woman stopped looking for this companion and instead focused on learning more about herself and her faith. She began studying the Bible very intently and came upon this verse in Proverbs during her devotions one morning.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

“So the young woman continued her studies and learned that she had closed herself to the possibility of being loved. She had stopped trusting that God would provide a husband for her. She had stopped believing that was beautiful.

“But as she continued studying her Bible, she learned that she was beautiful and that God loved her. She found that God delighted in her adventures and was sad when she felt lonely. She continued to learn and wanted to keep learning more.

“And then one day her Prince Charming came along.”

“A prince… really grandma!?!” The little girl exclaimed.

“Well, he wasn’t really a prince. And even when this man came along, she wasn’t really interested in him as more than simply a friend. After all, she had been hurt before. But with the help of God, she had opened her heart to become a friend to him and trusting again. She began to share her hopes and dreams. She began to share her fears. The man did the same. They each found it so easy to talk to one another. They became best friends.

“Soon they were dating and talking more often, and then trust between them grew into love. Then one day, this man asked her to marry him.”

The little girl interrupted suddenly, “Oh grandma, that’s wonderful!”

“Yes, it was. And they did get married in a beautiful wedding ceremony with that verse highlighted. Because without trusting in God, the woman may not have opened her heart to the man. She may have looked past him when they met or not returned his call.

“40 years later, I still love your grandpa so much. He is still my best friend and God continues to show us new things… including the joys of having a granddaughter just like you.”

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Recently I joined a new blog community for writing and today is our first “challenge” or story. When I got back into writing earlier this year, I wanted to share stories here — or feature more of my writing here, but just didn’t find the “time”. (You know how time can be an elusive thing!) So now I am “making” the time.

And here goes nothing…

This week our challenge is to find a person in public and study their character. Make a story surrounding them. Build them into a short essay.

Her hair blew out of her cap as she stood at the bus stop. The newly dyed blonde locks swirling in the cold air as she stood silently waiting for the bus to arrive, waiting for her ticket out of this mess. There wasn’t much left for her here. Even though it was the big city, she felt lost… alone… and most of all misguided.

Josie was escaping from the reality that had grabbed hold of her and Greyhound was her ticket out. This ticket cost half of her savings to trek across the land in search of something new. Searching for a new identity without changing who she really was or what she believed. Searching for a life where she would be sought out for her talents rather than used for them.

The roar of the bus grew louder as it came barreling down the street. As it stopped in front of the old army building, Josie took her last look at the place she grew up. The place that had given her hope but had also shattered her dreams. A place where she played hopscotch and jumped in the water from the fire hydrants on hot summer days. The alley where she had her first kiss and the stairs where she had broken her leg only a few months earlier. The apartment where her parents raised her, giving her a lifetime of memories, now sitting empty and abandoned.

Inching closer to the door, Josie lifted her backpack of belongings on her shoulder and secured her long hair under her cap once again. She wasn’t prepared for all of this, after all it was a spur of the moment decision. She knew hiding wouldn’t fix anything, but she also knew that staying could keep her a hostage in the life she knew. All she wanted was something new, but still something familiar.

Climbing the steps on the bus, Josie followed an elderly woman carrying a quilted bag. The bag was heavy and the woman struggled to maneuver it past the other passengers already seated. The woman took the first available seat, one of only a handful left. Josie scanned the bus looking where the other seats remained and chose to sit next to the woman she followed, hoping that she wouldn’t be asked a million questions about why she was here.

The woman said “hello” and Josie responded back with the same, and both turned back to facing the front of the bus. As the bus door closed, Josie felt relief coming upon her. A sense of peace, hope perhaps, that everything would get better. That she would find a way to live.