life
Uncontent…
Mar 6th
Those of you who know me well, know that I don’t like my “look” to be the same for long periods of time. I get sick of wearing the same clothes… sick of having the same hairstyle (I’m working on growing it out again for those that don’t know).. and well, I get sick of the same blog design.
Yes, you read that right… 2, or maybe 3, weeks of being here on Wordpress with a “theme” I thought I would like for a loooong time now seems dreary to me. I want something brighter. Something vibrant. Something full of life. Something inspiring.
I’m just not quite sure how I’m going to make it happen quite yet. I’m still working on what I want it to look like. I think I either read (or heard) it somewhere recently — begin with the end in mind. So I’m thinking about what I want my space to look like in the future — and hopefully have it be something that I don’t want to change every 5 minutes — like my clothes {on a bad day.}
So fellow Wordpress friends… does anyone have any great insights into customizable (and relatively affordable) themes that I can get my hands on? Not sure yet if I want to hire this all out — since I really like learning and designing it all on my own. You know — because of the control-freak factor that is myself. But I’m almost to that point. I’m starting to think I don’t have some of the creative programs that I think I will need in order to accomplish this goal.
Anyway — all of that to say — you will likely see changes around here again soon. Maybe by April. And no, that won’t be an April fools joke. Remember — I’m not into that “holiday”. 
If you can help — leave me a comment or drop me an e-mail. Thanks!
What is next…
Feb 28th
Last night I listened/watched online (to be honest I listened much more than I watched) the Help Haiti Live event that Compassion put on to raise money and re-ignite some of the interest that has been lost now for the plight of the Haitians since the media presence has dwidled. Especially now that there has been another major earthquake in Chile. (From what I understand, Chileans are pretty used to having earthquakes… but this was MAJOR… so definitely keep them in your prayers along with the Haitian people.)
Anyway, during the concert – Shaun Groves told some stories and then near the end… gave a challenge. He said “Now that you know, what will you do?”
This question speaks to me on so many levels. After seeing the need in the Dominican Republic, I truly didn’t know what more I could do. I’m not someone (or at least as of this writing) who is going to get up, move to a 3rd world country and serve God’s people that way. Not saying that God won’t call me to it, I just don’t think that’s where God wants to use my talents in this life.
I know that God has big plans for me. I’m just not entirely sure of what they are… other than that I have to keep writing about my weight loss journey. That I know. After all, HE needs to be given the glory for what he enabled me to accomplish… and now maintain. I’m just not sure how this will completely finalize itself out yet… but I’m looking into some things. Good things.
Next week I am taking another writing workshop. I’m hoping to get back into my “groove” (so to speak) and get another segment of my weight loss story completed. One step closer to getting it all in book form. One step closer to helping others learn from my mistakes in life… or even my regrets… and hope that they can begin living their fullest life sooner than what I did.
I’m also trying to take this blog to “the next level”. I am going to be signing up for at least 1 — if not 2 — blog conferences for later this year. I’m hoping to get sponsorships for this, but I am also trusting that God will provide what is needed before the plane (or car) is set to travel across the country. I’ll tell you more about these events as they get closer — but I am SUPER excited about both — and am hoping to meet some awesome bloggy friends… and see the sights of at least one city I’ve never visited before (and maybe even see the Pacific Ocean?!?!?)
Anyway… so that is kind of what’s next for me. I’m seeking out what God wants… I striving to lean on Him so that I can follow where he is leading me and not going down the wrong path. Although, as a final thought here… even if you travel down the wrong path in your life for a while, God seems to bring you back to the path HE wants you to be travelling… whether through friends, family, or even a random stranger… at least that’s what I’ve seen in my life.
Post it Tuesday…
Feb 23rd
I was going to write some “letters” to various people/products today… but then this past week I saw “Post It Tuesdays” on Jessica’s blog (ATL Mom’s Guide) and was inspired to change my post to participate with SupahMommy’s group. Enjoy!
Dreaming of things…
Feb 20th
I feel kind of funny putting this in writing today. Why? Well… I think I know what I’m going to be writing about tomorrow… and then none of these things matter. Really. God has been laying some serious stuff on my heart which I am hoping to share with you in a post tomorrow — umm, if I can put it all into words. I think.
Anyway… I had another blog post in mind for today – but I need to do a little “more” to it, so it will likely appear sometime next week. It’s about horoscopes — and specifically MY horoscopes for 2010. It’s entertaining me….
So this morning as I was browsing around the confines of the internet (whilst skipping my workout thank you very much!) I discovered that I *want* a lot of things. So I decided to put them into a post to see how many of them are just simply “fad” types of things for me… or something that I will truly want to purchase in the coming futures days, months, years… you get the idea.
The first thing I want (or rather will need soon…) is a new car.
I love the VW Jetta — but would go for anything newer and with more working parts than my current vehicle has at the moment. I think it’s the squealing of the vehicle (not to mention snide looks from other drivers/passersby) when I am not hitting my gas pedal. Yeah, and no one know what’s wrong. Fun times.
A new television (or 2…) would be nice. The one in my bedroom wakes me up with the “crack” thing that it does. Annoying. My dad has said if he had to deal with it, it would have been trashed a long time ago. I really do like the television in my living room, but unfortunately things do not last forever and I fear that it’s life may be coming to an end someday soon. I hope not. But it’s getting “up there” in it’s TV life.
A new camera would be nice… I’ve done a little research and the Nikon D90 would be more camera than I think I would ever, in my entire life, need. I want to take much better pictures than I can with my point-and-shoot… so this may be something I will start saving for. Merely $2 per week for the next year… and hope that I can find a good sale.
Along with the new camera, I’d like to get the Adobe Creative Design Suite. It would be helpful for some projects that I’ve been working on… and potentially to start my own design firm one day. Or at least more easily be able to help others with their needs. And be able to edit the photos with the pictures I’m taking with the new camera.
Finally… the last thing that I am dreaming of is either the Kindle or the Nook. I’m not sure which would be better… or which I would prefer. I’ve seen the kindle in action on an airplane — although it wasn’t a personal demonstration… and I’m pretty sure that the person next to me would have wanted me reading with them… so I refrained from being TOO nosy — and I know I can see a demonstration of the Nook at my local B&N.
Ultimately my question is… would I really ever use it… and is there an option of a “library check out” kind of thing for books I don’t want to buy — but want to read? (i.e. you get the book for 2 weeks and it disappears/locked up after).
So maybe you dear bloggy friends can give me some advice. Yes, besides telling you about all of the things that I am dreaming about here – I need advice. If you have/use any of the specific items above… can you tell me if it’s worth it — or would recommend an alternative?
Just a small town girl…
Feb 18th
There are times that I really love my town… Summers are great here — beautiful beaches, great places to walk (sidewalks everywhere) — a fun and vibrant downtown shopping district… and well, pretty much when it isn’t snowing I’m ok with it.
But until yesterday I had no idea that I was living in one of the happiest places in the United States. We were featured on ABC News last night… see for yourself!
Even with the economy the way it is (we may be living in a “Norman Rockwell era”… but we are not oblivious to our 16% unemployment situation), the people that live around me are optimistic. We believe that things can’t be this way forever (nor will they be)… and we believe that by investing into people — just like the news piece effectively says — that we can bring out the best in them and they will strive to be the best that they can be.
Cha-cha-changes…
Feb 10th
So I’ve been taking a few days off blogging… and it’s been a good break. Not really a *WANTED* break, but at least I still have my job, I still have my health, and I still… well, I’m here.
As you can see, I made some changes this weekend and moved my home back over to Wordpress. It’s a much more beautiful thing for me. At least for now. But I’m still working on making things better. I still have my old blog (although all of the posts have been transferred here) active – but that’s only temporary… soooooo… if you have any links there – PLEASE, oh pretty please, CHANGE THEM! (www.dutchbeingme.com)
There are a few things that I need to do — like re-create my blog list (hopefully this weekend sometime) and find some plug-ins that I can’t seem to locate. If anyone out there in bloggy land knows where I can find a link to have the google “followers” or add my SITS button (as well as a couple of other buttons) – I am all about it. Send me an e-mail!
All in all, right now I’m busy — both at work and personally — but all is good. Hopefully one of these nights I can sit down and type out some of the thoughts I’ve had and things that have been happening.
Until then… good night! (or day if you are reading this when the sun is out!)
On the edge of breaking down…
Feb 1st
That title desperately describes what I’ve been feeling in the past 36 hours — or maybe even a little more than that. With the pain that I’ve been experiencing, I haven’t really cared about much else in life. Not about laundry, cleaning or frankly anything that’s been entering my mouth. And I’ve been tired. So that doesn’t help my choices with food either.
And while the pain in my jaw has subsided quite a bit — partly due to the pain medication, mostly {I think} due to the massage I got last week — I’m still not making good choices.
It’s been 10+ days since I’ve logged anything in my food tracker. And my weight has PAID FOR IT. I officially am now about 15 pounds over goal. I am feeling crappy about myself and decided last night that THIS HAS GOT TO STOP. I need to change my mentality about a lot of things. I need to love myself. I need to find the quality in me that I am worth. I need to find a purpose in some things that I’ve been working toward.
As I was looking back over my previous blogs this weekend, I realized that I never really set clear goals for myself. So on this first day of February I am setting up some new goals… 11 goals for the next 11 months. And each month I will be updating to showcase my progress for each one of these goals.
1. Write, write, write… as many days as possible. The first part of this goal would be posting one new blog per day here… the other part of the goal would be to post weekly on my writing blog.
2. Take a photo everyday — and post it on my new Project 365 blog.
3. Host a girls night out — or in! Serve drinks, play games and just have a grand time with friends.
4. Track my food. While I am going to “take a break” from the Weight Watcher’s meetings for a bit (only for part of the month of February — just to save the $13/week that it’s costing me right now), I am going to get this part of me BACK ON TRACK. Once I am back to goal weight (or as close to it by the end of the month), I will get back to the meetings.
5. Run in the Fifth Third Riverbank Run. While my goal right now is to do the 25k, I may be changing this to the 10k to make it more manageable for myself. More to come on this soon…
6. Read and comment on at least 5 blogs daily. This can easily be done on a lunch hour — or even as I am getting ready for bed at night. I’ve been trying to be an active member of SITS for a while — and I think this may be the best way to get and keep me involved.
7. Invite my family over for Sunday lunch… and try a new recipe out on them. Ever since moving into my condo all of my immediate family members (ok, now with the exception of the newborn nephew) have been over, but not all at once. I have gone over to each of their homes for a meal, and now would like to return the honor to them.
8. Exercise at least 5 days each week… more if able. Lately I’ve been getting to the gym 3 times a week… or maybe 4 if I’m lucky. With as much as I’m spending on this membership, I need to be there a whole lot more than what I have been.
9. Read one chapter of the Bible daily… or better yet, do the Bible in 90 days reading plan this summer if I do not participate in any online Bible studies.
10. Clean my house for 20 minutes per day. This might not seem like a lot, but I figure if I do a little bit everyday (especially since most of that time is now spent on wasted things like Facebook currently) that I will feel more in control overall. Not to mention, I won’t be spending hours on the weekends doing
11. Go to the movie theater and see a movie by myself. You might think I am weird for doing this, but I think it will be very self empowering. Either that or I will regret every minute of it.
*bonus* Move this blog back to Wordpress. Both of my other blogs (see above) are on their system… and I need to move this one back there. I just don’t want anything to be inturrupted for my loyal readers — and I want to have the ability to customize certain things as well. I have some books from the library on it right now… hopefully they will actually be helpful.
So overall, I don’t know if this will help me regain the control I’ve been lacking… or if it will help me realize who I am… but it’s a start to helping me live the way that I need to.
*today’s lyric title: Simple Plan – “Welcome to my Life”
When they said you was high classed…
Jan 29th
Ok… I am a total blog slacker. I know. You don’t have to remind me.
Really.
When I wrote this blog last week, I thought it wouldn’t be a problem to get back “on track” with my blogging, that it wouldn’t be a problem to “find time” somewhere in my schedule to really connect with my bloggy friends again.
Then the weekend came. Friday night I was ok — went over to my brother’s house to hang out with my new nephew (pictures are on the way… I swear!) and help them get settled and get things put away (or at least all the gifts off their kitchen table.) I’m proud to say that I had trash duty.
And then there was Saturday and Sunday. Saturday started out well enough. Got to the gym by 8am and ran for almost an hour straight. 4-5 miles total. Just not all consecutive. If I’m going to do this 25k run, I need to do much more consecutive miles. As I was leaving the gym, my car wouldn’t start. Wasn’t anything super-serious… just REALLY annoying… and it only cost about $4 to fix. The remainder of Saturday was a lot of trying to keep myself motivated in general. I started to not feel so great – which was compounded by the fact that I wasn’t going to go shopping any longer either. BUMMER!
On Sunday I just started to feel YUCK. Not sick – but more tired because I have had dull pain in my jaw area since travelling earlier this month. I just didn’t want to do anything that day except lay around and sleep — not like me at all.
Monday, Tuesday and the first part of Wednesday were pretty much a repeat of Sunday — except for the fact that I went to work and got some things done there. (While I was there, I can’t say how productive I truly was.) However Wednesday at lunch, I went to my doctor’s office and found out that I have TMJ. Essentially it means that the disc joint for my jaw is inflamed. According to the paperwork given to me by the nurse, one of the main causes of this is stress.
STRESS…
Yeah, like I don’t have any of that going on in my life. Riiiiiight.
So after going to the doctor – and getting a deep tissue massage on Thursday night – I finally feel a little bit like I have a grasp on things again. I still have some pain… but it’s definitely in the manageable stage — and seems to definitely be on the mend.
And while I haven’t been writing on my blog here, I’ve been dreaming about starting my own Project 365 much like Design Girl. I’ve also been living vicariously through Mich and Daisy — who both have had some of their own adventures recently. I’ve also been reading an amazing book with the Bloom Book Club called “Same Kind of Different as Me.” AMAZING READ – Highly recommend it!!! Finally, I found out that Beth Moore’s new book “So Long Insecurity” is coming out on Tuesday and her blog will be holding a discussion group.
So while I may have not been high classed in my approach to blogging by promising things that I shouldn’t have, I am working toward making things right and making myself better. Because of who I am and what I want out of life… I need to write more. I need to set up some guidelines for myself so that I can get back to living the way that *I* want to live. I need to relax and not look at a computer for a while. And I need to spend some time with a little boy named Isaac.
*today’s lyric title: Elvis Presley – “Hound Dog”
Monday Night Follow-up…
Dec 29th
As a continuation from my post yesterday about my confessions, I thought I would follow up and let you all know that I had quite the productive evening… and SO happy about it. Here’s what I did. (And I took pictures, aren’t you proud?!?! Ha!)
Here is a picture of the bed in the “guest room” all made up. Even though I don’t have anyone staying with me right now… I feel better knowing that someone can. After making up the “guest room”… I got the laundry done/folded/put away and the dishes put away (dishwasher & sink) and then moved on to the mess called my living room. While it’s not done yet… I have 3 bags of trash ready to go out, plus a box of clothes to give away to a local resale shop.
Here is a before/after packing pictures. I am all set for Albuquerque at the end of the week! YAY! Everything fits in my carry-on with a little room to spare at the moment (and yes, I have enough WARM clothes along… it’s supposed to be about 35-45 degrees while I am there. BALMY compared to Michigan!) Only 48 hours til I arrive… yay!!! SO EXCITED!
Finally… I am VERY VERY excited about tonight… I get to see my former roomie for the first time in almost a year — since she moved her {lucky} self to Texas (I’m so jealous of the warmer temperatures!) I can’t wait to see her and talk to her about everything. We do chat and text often, but it will be nice to see her and give her a hug!
Sorry for the {somewhat} mundane life post… I promise in the future to blog about more interesting things!
Confessions…
Dec 28th
…I am not the perfect weight watcher. A look at the scale this morning tells me that. In fact, it was a number on the verge of me crying. This number should have pushed me into pulling out my Weight Watcher’s materials a few days prior to the new year, but instead I found myself at the Wendy’s drive thru for lunch.
In 2010… I will exercise at least 5 days a week for 60 minutes each day. I will track as best I can (I know it will not be perfect) and fulfill as many of the Weight Watchers healthy guidelines as possible. I will commit to attend the “Awesome Abs” class at my gym at least once per week to gain strength in that area (as my abs are still pretty weak.) I am also going to take on a challenge for 30 days following my return from vacation on January 5… I will not eat at a fast food restaurant during this time. I will plan my meals and stick to eating them to get myself back into plan.
…I have much higher aspirations for my writing than I follow through with. At the beginning of the weekend, I wanted to write the next part of this story – with more of a focus on the elderly woman and her part in the story. But as with lots of aspirations that I had this weekend, this one did not come to fruition either.
In 2010… I will set aside time once per week dedicated to writing off the blog. I will continue to develop both my fiction stories as well as my own personal weight loss story. When I feel comfortable with what I am writing (or have written), I will publish it on the blog.
…I don’t have a clean house. Again. Or maybe I should say still. My kitchen is somewhat clean (although I should get out my handy-dandy mop thingy to clean the floors.) My living room looks like a recycling center threw up in it. It’s so bad that I’m keeping my blinds closed for fear my neighbors might be able to see in as they drive past. My laundry (I think) is still sitting in the dryer and needs to be folded. Not to mention that I don’t remember the last time I vacuumed well. Oh yeah, and there’s trash duty too.
In 2010… I am going to clean up the little things as I go. I will organize room by room to make sure that nothing is missed. This week yet, I will take down my Christmas tree and re-organize the living room a little. When I return from vacation, I will make up the guest bed (just to make it look a little more “appealing” in that room, instead of “storage like”) and then vacuum the whole house — moving furniture and everything!
…I have credit card debt. This one is really hard for me to admit because of what I do for a living, but it is common among many so I wanted to put it out there. I did it to myself through a couple of trips in 2008 and 2009 and to pay for some things that I would have not normally had to pay for if the economy didn’t have such a tumble.
In 2010… I will pay off this credit card debt and will celebrate it here on my blog. It will be lots of little steps, but I think it is manageable as long as I follow a budget that I am working to set up. I’m hoping that with the economy and stock markets back to higher levels and showing strength that some of my benefits will be returned to make this a little less stressful on me.
…I want to learn more about web design and html code. I tried earlier this year, but failed miserably at it. If I can learn this stuff, I can make my blog a bit more “fun” and creative – a true reflection of me.
In 2010… I will read a couple of books on HTML and try my best to learn it. I will also try my hand at Wordpress once again and try to find a way to make their templates work with what I want.
…I haven’t ever gone to a movie by myself. I think it’s the fear of being judged. I think it’s a fear of always being by myself, of feeling alone. I should have done that earlier this year when I went to Julie & Julia — or I should say essentially I did as the person I went with slept through the whole movie. I haven’t seen or done anything with her since. Not sure if that’s a coincidence or not.
In 2010… I will find a movie that I want to go to — and I will go to it by myself. And not be ashamed that I am there alone.
…I want to take a road trip to nowhere. Maybe even stay overnight or something. How fun would that be to just take off for a weekend without any plans to do anything except just hit the open road.
In 2010… I will take a road trip to nowhere, on a budget of course. I really should see another new state or two to mark off my lifelist.
