Me now... as taken with a cell phone camera in the bathroom. Not good.
Sigh. That’s how much I’ve gained in less than 18 months… or maybe 12.
And if you do the math… that’s gaining 3+ pounds a month. Which absolutely sickens me.
At this rate, being 100 pounds away from my heaviest known weight right now, I would be back to my “old” self in a matter of 2-3 years… or less.
I just can’t have that.
So I was thinking about applying to be an official “Mamavation” mom. (Yes, even though I’m not a mom.) The program that Leah runs is great… and full of support. I love that about the #Mamavation hashtag on twitter. I love seeing the support of everyone.
I had that kind of support before… and I need that kind of support again.
But after a (long) weekend of thinking about it, I can’t apply for the program this summer. There are too many things standing in the way for me to be successful. First is the commitments that I have for my vacations – visiting friends and attending a blog conference. Second is the fact that I don’t own a Wii. (That could be rectified… but I’d rather not buy something I’m only going to use for a matter of months.) Last is the issue of me not being able to participate in the online bootcamps throughout the day. It’s very difficult for me to be online between 8am & 5pm during the week (and some days it’s more like 8am – 10pm).
So I’m going to do this myself again. Eating right and working out… following the Weight Watchers plan (the new one I have the materials for – but have yet to really read/learn.)
I’d love to say that I started strong this morning with a new outlook and excitement toward losing the weight… but that’s just not true. I woke up late and McDonald’s was just easier to go to than to try to find something “healthier”. It’s bad – but it is what it is.
I know what I have to do… the #1 thing is to stop eating at the easy-in/easy-out fast food establishments. The second is that I *have* to start drinking my water again each day. The third is to start getting some exercise in… and then finally making sure that I’m eating the right things (which if I’m not visiting the fast food places, would go a LONG ways toward anyway.)
After writing this all out, I have to admit something. While I know I have to change these things in my life… I’m still struggling with the desire to change them. Maybe it has to do with the original reason I gained the weight in the first place.
In which case… I have a lot of self-discovery to do. And do it fast.
I don’t want to be who I was again.
Good for you for getting back on the wagon! I struggle with healthy eating and exercise every day. I have had more setbacks than I can even fathom, but like you, I just keep starting over and plugging away! I’m cheering for you!
I can so relate! I was all excited that I finally lost another pound. 14 in total. Until I realized that I had hoped to lose 50 by now. And that I still have 86 to go. And that I don’t look any different. Poop. I’m getting back on myfitnesspal (I’m wendypchef if you join and want to be friends).
As for McD’s – I’ve found the egg mcmuffin and fruit & yogurt parfait don’t put me *too* far in the hole calorie-wise.
Ahh, Julie, it’s SO HARD to eat right when the temptations are all around you, but KUDOS to you for wanting to take that step in the right direction! I know it must be a motivator knowing how far you’ve come…and if you need support, your bloggy friends are with you 110%!
Go Julie! Any support I can lend – tell me. I’m in this boat as well. I’m trying to shed another 75 and taking it one step at a time. Seriously – DM me, tweet me, email me if you need anything. You won’t get back to that spot you don’t want to be in – I promise!
Julie, you TOTALLY can do it! Just make a point to write about it here so we can all help!
Julie, you can do it!! You did it once and had a lot farther to go. It is just a matter of taking the 1st step. As someone who is struggling to find the motivation to take that first step I completely understand!
You can do it, Julie! I’ll make sure we both eat healthy when you come to Nashville.
I love that you are making an effort to get started. Motivation is such a struggle. Hang in there, I know you will be back to your new old self in no time!
I think that putting this out here on the blog is a great first step!!
Even if you can’t get the support from the “official” community this summer, you can get the support here on your blog from all of us.
you are going to rock this!!
You can do it! Just writing it down is a great first step. Your blog readers will be behind you all the way!
girl, you KNOW you have my support!! email, text, whatever when those temptations strike. ask for help!! write about it here. your last statement about not wanting to go back is the first step. take those first steps (workout 3x a week, skip the fast food) for ONE week and you’ll feel so much better!!! You can do it!! you’ve got lots of support here!
Julie, I KNOW you can do it! We will all be here to help and support you!
You can do this, Julie. I’m only an hour a way if you need some face-to-face support!
[...] I’ve been in therapy now for just about 10 months I think. I’ve learned loads of things about me… but am feeling like there are some things that I’m not getting to the bottom of. Things that I need to know so that I can heal and be able to get back to my goal weight. [...]
[...] wondered for a couple weeks if this shift in my mood has anything to do with the weight I’ve gained back. With me starting the journey again today (yes!) I hope that this doesn’t hold me back… [...]
Oh dear – I can so relate. When I was married, I was about 145 pounds and a size 8. Now I’m about 50 pounds heavier and a size 16-18. It’s so hard isn’t it? I planned to start eating low carb again tomorrow, but making more desserts so that I don’t feel deprived. I hope I’ll be able to exercise more when the kids are in school. It’s not easy.