Let it Go: Follow-through…

Have you ever noticed that in life, it’s really about the follow through? It’s not only about the commitments that you make, but that you follow through on them. It’s not only the plans for things you intend to do, but to actually do them.

I’ve had this problem recently in a few areas in my life. I’m not happy that the follow through isn’t there. I have lost my discipline… my “just do it” attitude. And that sucks. I’ve gained some weight back. I feel somewhat lost in the “faith” part of my life that a mere year ago, I was secure in and would have been excited to share what was happening.

But something happened after the mission trip I went on last year. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever shared the full story here…

Last year I truly felt that God was going to change something in my life. Change where I live, my vocation, or maybe that I would meet that “someone special”. I had this feeling since early in the year… and I kept praying about it, wanting to know more. But the only “more” that I ever got was a feeling that something would happen after the mission trip. So I let it go to God. (Kinda like what I should be doing again… but I digress…)

During the mission trip, we had a wonderful time – many amazing experiences – but we had communication issues with connecting to the internet. We couldn’t overcome them. So mid-week we got a cell phone with a calling card and called home once each to let our families know we were ok, all was going well, etc.

I think it was late Wednesday night that I started getting the feeling that I had a message on my cell phone that I had to get to. Something that was urgent. But I was in another country and I don’t think my cell plan would have coverage – so I prayed for the next 3 days that the opportunity (or whatever it was) would still be available for me when I returned to the states. I had no idea as we landed in Miami that I would have a phone call from Weight Watchers about my appearance on the Rachael Ray Show. And that message was left on Tuesday or Wednesday.

The Rachael Ray Show experience was amazing — but at the same time, in that experience I think I may have assumed God had answered that prayer. And He was done. And I took back the controls of my life.

Somewhere along with that, I stopped praying about everything that I had yearned for and what was next for my life. But I did.

I almost don’t dare say this out loud… but this past week I realized (in that sickeningly painful way) that I feel lost in life and in my faith. You don’t know how much it hurts to say that. My faith is my ROCK. I go to church every Sunday and I *WANT* to learn more about the Bible, the history and what is going to happen. But I don’t do anything about it once I step through the doors of the church.

The follow through that I had once with my prayer and devotional life has lost it’s commitment level. I need to do more than SAY I’m going to do it. That’s where the follow through comes in. I need to DO the Bible Study that I’m *leading* rather than a quick read-through “catch-up” on the day of the class. And I need to ACTUALLY get on my knees (or as Beth Moore recommends – on my face) and lay it all out.

I’m not sure what to say next… I’m not sure how to feel about all of this… I’m just not sure. But I know that God is real, and I know that He loves me – and that He has a plan for my life. I just wish I knew if the plan was to stay or go out into the world. I wish many things… but now I need to start praying about them. And following through — and ACTUALLY praying.

What follow through issues have you had in the past? How have you overcome them?

More to come about follow through and feeling lost in my weight loss journey on Wednesday…
Stay tuned…