Monthly Archives: April 2010

5 Question Friday: Two Wishes…

Written on April 30, 2010

Happy to say that it’s Friday again… YAY! And happy to say that one of my questions was chosen for this week’s 5 question Friday with Mama M!!! Super YAY!!!

So here’s the lowdown on me. Everything you wanted to know… and a little maybe too much information. That would be the kids question. I know. I’ll be waiting for your comments.

1.If you could, would you go back to high school?

I don’t think I would say yes to this. While I enjoyed my senior year and had AMAZING friends that year, there are too many negative things that happened to me in the first 3 years that I still struggle to work through. Although there are experiences from each of those years that I would not change in a heartbeat and would revisit anytime… but all of those experiences happened in the summer though.

So no. No more high school.

2. If a genie appeared and granted you two wishes, what would they be? (And, no saying “more wishes”.)

Two Wishes… My first thought as I was thinking about this was to go the beauty pagent route and say “World Peace” but I’m far to realistic to believe that could EVER happen so I’m going to move on to a little more self-centered things. LOL

The first wish would be something that I pray about often. To find, meet and marry the man of my dreams and have a family with him. To grow old together and share our lives.

The second wish would be for a lot of money – I’m not sure about the exact dollar amount as I would want but it would be A LOT. I would use this for buying a home, traveling the world whenever I chose to go somewhere and being able to start my own business… and not having to worry about whether it was a success or failure. I could just do what I loved.

3. What kids show do you secretly like?

Hannah Montana. Yes, I admit it. I don’t have kids, and when I see that show on Disney I’ll watch it. I even listen to her music.

4. What is your beverage of choice?

It’s an addiction for me… and it’s not the most “healthy” of options (I *know* about the aspartame argument) but Diet Coke is what I would choose for my beverage of choice at almost any function. Water is a very close 2nd.

5. What is something that you would change about yourself (or are working to change in yourself)?

I would love to be more outgoing and confident. To be able to walk up to people without the fear of me thinking that they are judging me and being able to strike up an interesting conversation with them. I think that’s why I like Twitter and the “online” world so much is because I don’t have my awkwardness hanging out in front of people.

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Five Question Friday

Let it go: Part one…

Written on April 29, 2010

Some of you have followed my journey for a long while… some of you are fairly new to the journey I’ve been on. By now I’m sure that you know I’ve been through a weight loss journey, one that literally changed my life, change my outlook and changed much of who I am and what I believe I can do.

But there’s one thing that hasn’t changed in my life.

My faith has been my rock. My faith has been a source of joy for me – not only because I love Jesus and want to know more about my faith, my church, and the Bible – but also because it has connected me countless friends that have supported me throughout my weight loss journey.

But I’m not perfect.

Throughout this journey I have held tight to the control. I have released some things to God, but then quickly take them back because I didn’t want something to change, I didn’t want to let go of the stronghold, I didn’t want to be seen as “weak”.

And then something happened on Tuesday.

I was watching the Gather in Spirit coordinators talk on the web about their faith and why they choose to blog about their faith. I realized that I had almost completely abandoned this part of my life on my blog in the past few months.

So many other things concerned me. Things that should not have concerned me.

Because there is so much more happening around me. Many amazing things in my faith, many cool things that I could write about. But that means I have to let go of my control. I have to let go of what I *want* to write about… and rely on God to provide me the words that He wants me to say.

There will be more about this in the coming weeks… but just know. I am surrendering and I hope you all will be blessed by the things I will be sharing in the coming days, weeks and months.

This is an amazing journey.

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Weight Loss Wednesday: The reality of being skinny…

Written on April 28, 2010

Yesterday I read this article on MSNBC about how one person thought that their problems would be solved if they were skinny. As the article explained she was a “self-described ‘accomplished fat girl,’” including having a master’s degree in creative writing, a great job, a slew of friends and a loving boyfriend. “The only thing holding her back, she thought, was weight.”

“Larsen thought skinny came with a mega-boost of self confidence. And a huge dollop of happiness. She thought she’d be dynamic and brave and ready to take on the world, just because she was thin.”

Doesn’t there seem like there’s something wrong with this picture?

I guess I’m the one with 150 pounds off my body sitting here wondering why she thought all of her problems would be solved. Maybe (and this is just MY theory), it’s because she took the “easy” way out — choosing to have surgery to correct the problem rather than working hard to lose the weight through one of MANY programs out there. I chose Weight Watchers… but others have found success in other places.

Yes, after the weight loss I thought things would be easier – in SOME cases – in my life. That meeting people, guys specifically, would come more naturally. But turns out, it’s more my lack-of-outgoingness is more the issue on this one. And it’s something I fully acknowledge and am TRYING to work on.

But that doesn’t mean that I’m not happy. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have so much more self-confidence. I know I can do SO much more than I was able to do when I was 300+ pounds. I have so much more fun now that I have more energy. I have so much more life in me because I believe in me. And all of these things make me happy. I’m also actively working at making my dreams come true. I’m travelling more now than what I used to. I’m trying to continually learn about things that interest me. I’m being who God made me.

Yes, there are times that I struggle with happiness, confidence and security. But don’t we all? Is there anyone, either the overweight or the so called skinny-types, that is happy 100% of the time?

If the woman featured in the article cannot find the happiness within herself or through her faith, what is the likelihood that she will turn to food once again for comfort? I hope that this is not the case, but for those of use that grew up with unresolved issues — and used food to mask them — this typically is the outcome. I know for me, it’s still the easiest thing to go back to when emotional. That’s going to take some re-learning.

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