That title desperately describes what I’ve been feeling in the past 36 hours — or maybe even a little more than that. With the pain that I’ve been experiencing, I haven’t really cared about much else in life. Not about laundry, cleaning or frankly anything that’s been entering my mouth. And I’ve been tired. So that doesn’t help my choices with food either.
And while the pain in my jaw has subsided quite a bit — partly due to the pain medication, mostly {I think} due to the massage I got last week — I’m still not making good choices.
It’s been 10+ days since I’ve logged anything in my food tracker. And my weight has PAID FOR IT. I officially am now about 15 pounds over goal. I am feeling crappy about myself and decided last night that THIS HAS GOT TO STOP. I need to change my mentality about a lot of things. I need to love myself. I need to find the quality in me that I am worth. I need to find a purpose in some things that I’ve been working toward.
As I was looking back over my previous blogs this weekend, I realized that I never really set clear goals for myself. So on this first day of February I am setting up some new goals… 11 goals for the next 11 months. And each month I will be updating to showcase my progress for each one of these goals.
1. Write, write, write… as many days as possible. The first part of this goal would be posting one new blog per day here… the other part of the goal would be to post weekly on my writing blog.
2. Take a photo everyday — and post it on my new Project 365 blog.
3. Host a girls night out — or in! Serve drinks, play games and just have a grand time with friends.
4. Track my food. While I am going to “take a break” from the Weight Watcher’s meetings for a bit (only for part of the month of February — just to save the $13/week that it’s costing me right now), I am going to get this part of me BACK ON TRACK. Once I am back to goal weight (or as close to it by the end of the month), I will get back to the meetings.
5. Run in the Fifth Third Riverbank Run. While my goal right now is to do the 25k, I may be changing this to the 10k to make it more manageable for myself. More to come on this soon…
6. Read and comment on at least 5 blogs daily. This can easily be done on a lunch hour — or even as I am getting ready for bed at night. I’ve been trying to be an active member of SITS for a while — and I think this may be the best way to get and keep me involved.
7. Invite my family over for Sunday lunch… and try a new recipe out on them. Ever since moving into my condo all of my immediate family members (ok, now with the exception of the newborn nephew) have been over, but not all at once. I have gone over to each of their homes for a meal, and now would like to return the honor to them.
8. Exercise at least 5 days each week… more if able. Lately I’ve been getting to the gym 3 times a week… or maybe 4 if I’m lucky. With as much as I’m spending on this membership, I need to be there a whole lot more than what I have been.
9. Read one chapter of the Bible daily… or better yet, do the Bible in 90 days reading plan this summer if I do not participate in any online Bible studies.
10. Clean my house for 20 minutes per day. This might not seem like a lot, but I figure if I do a little bit everyday (especially since most of that time is now spent on wasted things like Facebook currently) that I will feel more in control overall. Not to mention, I won’t be spending hours on the weekends doing
11. Go to the movie theater and see a movie by myself. You might think I am weird for doing this, but I think it will be very self empowering. Either that or I will regret every minute of it.
*bonus* Move this blog back to WordPress. Both of my other blogs (see above) are on their system… and I need to move this one back there. I just don’t want anything to be inturrupted for my loyal readers — and I want to have the ability to customize certain things as well. I have some books from the library on it right now… hopefully they will actually be helpful.
So overall, I don’t know if this will help me regain the control I’ve been lacking… or if it will help me realize who I am… but it’s a start to helping me live the way that I need to.
*today’s lyric title: Simple Plan – “Welcome to my Life”
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
i love this idea- 11 goals for 11 months! i'm just now getting around to working on my "new year's resolutions" good luck, and i hope you feel better soon!
Awesome goals! I need to make some goals. I'm kind of flittering around with no purpose lately.
xoxo – I hope you feel better soon!! I think your goal list is GREAT! And I really hope it helps you feel like you are back in control. I've been a little out of control myself lately – it's very frustrating – and the circle of anxiety and stress I feel about being out of control does nothing to help me get back in control. Thanks for sharing this difficult situation – it's made me consider what I need to do for myself.
Hi there, inspiring post! I can actually work with 12 goals since my birthday’s in February and so that takes me round to next year
Better than being random as I am.
Sorry about the pain you’ve had, hoping you get some more relief. Thanks for the follow, glad to find another writer mum.
Oh and Happy Valentine’s Day!
Wow, sounds like you’ve been through a lot. I think you new home for your blog looks great! I’d love to switch to Wordpress too, but can’t seem to figure out how to transfer the neat background I have. I think goals are a wonderful idea. They will keep you focused. Wow, running a 10K or 25K! Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Anna