The lows…

So this past week pretty much sucked on the dating and food fronts. As you read last week, the guy I kinda had a crush on cancelled 2 times in 3 days. Not cool.

So anyway – this really put me in a funk about guys in general. I even posted on my Facebook page that “Julie thinks boys are stupid… we should throw rocks at them.” However, about 10 minutes later, I did put the caveat that dad’s and brother’s (most of the time) are exempt from this treatment. And to be honest, it actually gave me some sort of control back in my life. I don’t know how or why, but it did.

Then as I wrote Friday night, I changed up everything in my living room. This gave me a sense that things in my life could continue to change and I can *really* just go with the flow. (If you know me at all… I am a PLANNER… and not really a “fly by the seat of my pants” kinda girl.)

And then Sunday rolled around. It was a good morning… writing out what God’s been doing in my life and church was great as well. But then the afternoon hit. And I ate. And ate. And ate. I sat there wondering what was wrong with me… why no one wanted to date me. What am I doing wrong that seems to send guys away from me faster than a speeding bullet.

The thoughts and feelings just wouldn’t go away and I really didn’t know how to control them. The Easter candy that was in the house (that was to be saved for Easter) disappeared. Cereal was eaten… directly from the box (not a good thing for measuring portions – not that I was counting anyway.) I don’t even think one of the Weight Watcher’s Good Healthy Guidelines was eaten or complete. Well, maybe the water… but I’m a camel apparently.

Somehow I made it through Sunday… and Monday morning rolled around. Miraculously I got a good night sleep but then (cue the music) dah dah duh… I looked at the number on the scale. I was mortified. I was up 4 pounds from my goal weight in about 3 weeks. And I can honestly say much of that was because I ate due to feeling sorry for myself.

One of the first things I did after that was sign up for the Weight Watcher’s e-tools for 3 months again. I needed commitment and I am taking control. Sometimes it’s not about what you put in your mouth, but what you do immediately (or maybe the next day) after.

Since putting my money where my mouth is, I have been on plan for 3 days now. And the scale has been nice to me once again. I’m keeping going and have actually set a BRAND NEW GOAL for myself… I want to reach my 175 pounds off (from the first day I walked into Weight Watchers). This will put me well below goal and allow me to tone up and hopefully lose some more fat/gain more muscle mass.

And while I fit into the size 8 jeans I own… I’m still struggling to fit into that size of the dress pants (well, of the ones I bought at least). So someday soon, I’ll fit into all these clothes. And maybe one of these days a guy will actually notice me too. Maybe I’ll get a date. Maybe.