Yes… this girl could become “dating girl” one of these days. I’m not so sure it’s going to be blogged about often, but I’m trying to “put myself out there more” as has been recommended to me by some very wise people. Really this online dating thing right now is just all in good fun… and if something potentially good happens out of it – GREAT – but in the meantime, looking forward to more profiles like the one you are about to experience.

Now what you are about to read is a REAL and TRUE profile (29 year old, lives about 30 miles away) that was sent to me via e-mail by an obscure (not exactly sure when or how I signed up for this) dating website in past few days. I assume he is real… but I sure hope not to run into him at a local retail store where he may work.

*looking over shoulder*

Because this is new territory for me… well, new to this blog at least… I am starting off with what not to put into your online dating profile (his eloquent words are in italics)… along with helpful commentary by yours truly (in blue bold print). I hope you all find as much enjoyment as what I have received from this profile in the past 2 days. And just so you know, I really did want to give him a chance and not throw judgement on him immediately. I tried not to dissect the whole thing. Poor guy. (Also for the record, as much as I wanted to correct things, everything here is true, real and exactly as it was printed in front of me on this wonderful website.)

I am the type of person who what’s they want out of life, but have not reached all my goals just yet. I assume that you “know” what you want out of life… and I hope you have not reached all your goals yet – you’re only 29!!! Currently working as a manager in training. Hopeing to get into full managment soon. Please, spell check. I am big into being part of my church and I am a deacon plus run the sound system. Big Plus! Christian guy, involved at church… but then… I collect coins and Coke Cola stuff. Ok, I am glad that you collect items. It’s really nice. But if you are truly a bona fide collector of “Coca-Cola” items, I would hope that you know how to spell it. Including the hyphen. I fish and play golf when I get a chance. I have some close friends mostly who are female. Not a bad thing, but not exactly something to brag about when trying to impress a girl. My family is important to me. Ok, that’s always a good thing in my book!

Ok… quick side note from the story: It is at this point when everything really changed for me. I was trying to keep an open mind (never judge a book by its cover) but as I continued reading… my laughter grew to proportions that I could not handle and tears were (literally) running down my face. I’m not lying. I even called a friend so she could share in this special moment with me.

Anyway, back to the profile…

I like women with long hair that are blonde or light brunettes. I am a redhead… and slightly offended by this need. I have a beautiful hair color. She must like to wear her hair in a pony tail at times. My mind still wonders as I write this now… why the need to say that??? Ponytails?? Really??? Enjoys cooking and like to have help in the kitchen. Must want to have kids. Keeps herself in shape and is willing to help me get in better shape. Ok… after my entire weight loss journey that I have been through, I am all about “keeping myself in shape”, but why does he get a pass on it… UNLESS I HELP HIM?!?!?! YEAH RIIIIGHT!!!!! Doesn’t mind cuddling up on the coach to watch a movie, but also likes to dress up to go out to dinner. Wants to wait for sex until marriage or both us are ready for it. I can totally respect that, but then he adds… When it comes to having sex at some point of time wants to enjoy it a lot with me and is faithful in our relationship. And you are stating this BEFORE I meet you because????? Wants to be treated like a lady, but also and equal partner with me. Another good thing, but slightly negated by previous sentences.

Ok, as a recap… I have determined that you can’t spell & you don’t have good grammar. You have a strange fetish for ponytails… and you want lots of sex. Yup all things I should know as you are trying to “woo” me with your online dating profile. You really didn’t look like a chauvinistic pig in your (copyrighted) picture you had online… but I can see it now, your book is not my style.

As an added bonus… he sent over his “need/wants” list to me as well – one of the items was a woman with a high sex drive. I’m not lying. (Was this not obvious enough before?)

Finally… I also wanted to share links for a couple of blogs I learned about recently. They feature some great fodder of the online, and not so online, dating life… searching for the yeti and Cha’s Randomness that is… and are great fun if you have the hours (as I spent) to read them. J

This may be an ongoing saga in the life of this blog… honestly, I don’t really know how it’s going to manifest itself just yet. But I hope you enjoyed the first in the potential series.

me.