You know how you are really close to something, and then totally feel like it is slipping away from you. That’s how I feel about getting to my goal this week. I have had numerous things happening in my life (which I won’t get into here) that have filled my head with negativity (how ironic, 2 weeks after the “negativity” lesson at my Weight Watcher’s meeting) and have caused me to “lose sight” of my goal. In a matter of 4 days, I feel like I have become a total failure and will never reach my goal. As of last Thursday, I only had about 2½ pounds to go to reach goal… and it looked like it was completely possible to do. (Yes, I am saying “had” for good reason.) But when you get close to accomplishing something, it’s like something in you just doesn’t want to have it. Something inside me let me lose ALL confidence that I had gained over the past months and smashed it down in mere days. I am sitting here typing knowing that I am better than this, but yet can’t get over how bad I was for 4 days now. 4 DAYS!?!?! I know I have struggled before… and I know I will struggle again. But I just didn’t *WANT* to struggle now. I just wanted to reach goal in October so that I can get my pictures redone this year (because frankly, I am sick of seeing my old high school senior photo hang on the walls of those I love)… and well, do something a little crazy for myself too (yes, I will be celebrating the occasion when I reach goal with something pretty remarkable!) But all of this will wait until I get back up “on the horse” and do what I need to do. I need to find my plan back, get into it, and stay into it. As I am sure I have said before… I KNOW I CAN DO THIS! me.
Monthly Archives: September 2008
It’s just that close…
Early Morning Workouts…
I decided to try something new recently… *EARLY* morning workouts. I have been rising shortly after 5am and driving over to the health club to get some good cardio in before work. It’s really been going well… and I definitely could make this a habit – at least some days each week.
This really astounds me. I have never been an early riser… or much of a morning person. But somehow, I think that this summer broke my sleeping in on the weekends (and some weekdays – oops!) habit. After all, I had to be starting my training walks on Saturday mornings much of the time by 7am! Now I actually like getting up a *little* early (maybe not 5am everyday!) because it just feels like I can accomplish more in the day that way… at least on the weekends.
Someday I would love to sleep in again (like a rainy Sunday morning!)… but for now, I am going to keep up this early morning workout thing. I think it’s paying off!!!
me.
Why does Target have to sell such cute stuff…
I have friends that believe you cannot walk out of Target without spending at least $50. This morning I was going to defy the odds and do this. Granted, the items I had in hand were awfully close to that $50 total. That is until I passed the “Clearance” section.
At that moment, the “dutch” part of me kicked in at that moment and I thought “hey, it’s on clearance… what kind of deals can I find?” Yup, a deal was to be had… 2 *REALLY* cute picture frames for $1.48 each. J
But it did bring me over the $50 mark… so dear friends, you are right. I cannot walk out of Target without spending at least $50.
me.
Almost to goal…
After this morning’s weigh in, I was once again reminded how close I am to goal. I have lost 146 pounds now, and my goal is only 3.8 pounds away. Yes… that’s right folks, less than 4 pounds to go. WOW. Unbelievable. And I am in awe of this accomplishment. Who knew that *I* could do this when I started?
One of my fellow “Weight Watchers” asked me after last night’s meeting if I thought I could have accomplished losing this much weight when I started. Immediately I told him “no”… after all, I knew I had a TON of weight to lose – and I think at that time, I would have been happy just losing 50 pounds. However, now I am wondering when it was that I knew I could actually reach goal. I wish I could pinpoint the day/week/month that it was, but in all honesty – I really don’t know!
As I have approached my lifetime goal these last few weeks, little revelations have been “shown” to me in how much I have changed. I am starting to see myself differently… not only physically, but also that my confidence level has increased along with so many other little things. Things I never thought I would do, I am going out of my comfort zone and doing. I am speaking out more, when before I may have been a little more “timid”. I am taking advantage of opportunities as they come my way… as to not miss out on anything – because the “what if’s” of my 20′s still plague me.
I think this has become much more reflective than I intended (I think I will “reflect” much more eloquently when I finally reach goal)… but all in all, I have to say for today at least – I am bouncing off the walls excited about this. My birthday is just less than 2 weeks from today and while I might not make it to this goal by then… I really do want to see how close I can come. That would be an AWESOME birthday present to myself. Not to mention that my Thanksgiving/Christmas present to myself would be extra $$ every month… because I won’t have the WW fees to pay EVER AGAIN! (Well… not unless I gain the weight back… but that’s not going to happen!)
Only a few weeks to go…
me.
