As of recently, I have been attending Weight Watcher’s meetings regularly. This after about a year’s or more hiatus. I started because a friend is leading them… but now I am finding that I am wanting to go and am getting so much out of them. I think at the beginning of my journey, I was probably a little pompous thinking I knew it all… especially since I had done the plan before. But now, I am learning to sit back, listen, learn and hear from those around me. I think it’s because of everything I have been through on this journey. I want to help others, but I am now open to receiving help as well. I think that is a major part of the journey. Tonight we talked about the different obstacles involved with weight loss and put them into a context of the roads (i.e. detour, being stuck, fast lane, scenic route). For each person, we all have struggles that deter us from wanting to continue our journey, but we need to continue on. (I think I am writing this to convince myself of this as well!) Lately, I have been on a major “detour”… I have not followed the plan very well (or at all) and have been feeling it. I am not as happy, not as talkative, not wanting to go out and do things. I do think part of it is the lack of sleep – or just needing more sleep – like I said in my blog from this morning. But I also think that I can attribute a major part of it to the foods I have been eating. Or rather, the lack of quality foods I have been eating. Another struggle that I have been having lately is a mental struggle. While I know that I am looking SO much better than I used to… much more healthy, more alive, vibrant… I am now struggling with seeing me as a “thinner” person than what I used to be. I still “see” me as the 300+ (or maybe 250+) person that wears plus size clothing all the time and thinks about whether the chair will break if I sit in it. I am not sure what to do about this struggle… do I talk to someone about it, or do I wait till this feeling passes? Will this feeling ever pass? I also struggle with wondering how others see me. Do they see the Julie from before, or do they see the new me? If they didn’t know me before I lost the weight, what will they think of me and this journey I am on? I want everyone to see me. The real ME. Not the person I was before, who struggled with every breath and tried to cover the extreme sadness I felt. I want people to know about my journey, but I don’t necessarily want to shout it from the rooftops. I want to succeed with my new eating habits, and how I live my now active life… and I definitely don’t want to become “stale” or “stagnant” with this journey, because that is when I will start to become lax on the program and unwanted gains will result. I want to be one of those people with the asterisk by their name!! (you know the ones… *results not typical.) J So… in thinking through a lot of things recently, I decided to officially set my goal weight tonight with my leader. I really want to work toward having this be a great Birthday or Christmas gift to me. J As of tonight, I have 21 pounds to go… and I have a plan in place. One step at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time, one weigh-in each week. I am going to do this… me.
Monthly Archives: June 2008
Struggling & the roadmap…
Zzzzzzzzz's & walking….
With all of the walking I’ve been doing recently… and probably going to bed too late as well… I am TIRED. This is resulting in me not making the best choices for food during the day.
So… this means I am going to become a “nap” type person. I can’t say that I am thrilled about this because in the past when I nap, I typically don’t sleep well at night. But with the added activity maybe this is a necessary evil. Laying down for 30-45 minutes after my long walks (10 miles or more) really should be a part of my weekend days. I think it will help!
Speaking of walking… I have still been keeping at it. Things are going well and I feel like I am getting stronger and walking farther each week. We have just over 50 days left to go until the walk happens in August! Fundraising is going well… but I am still about $1500 away from my goal. If you are able to donate to this great cause, please click on the link in the upper corner!
Thanks so much for your support everyone!
me.
When it rains it pours…
This last week of my life has been one of the toughest for me to manage. I’ve had so many negative things happen… it really feels like a dream.
First, last Friday we had a computer failure at work. Because I am the “technical liaison” for the office, and somewhat over dedicated to my work at times, I really felt responsible for restoring things back to normal and have life become the way it was.
Over the weekend, I just had some personal stuff that I was dealing with, finding it difficult to study for a test that I have coming up soon and really just feeling overwhelmed by life.
Fast forward with me to Wednesday… my mom’s appendix decided to become irritable (but was kind enough not to rupture), so she had an emergency appendectomy. (She is doing great now… home as of 1pm today – yea for modern medicine and quick healing!)
Then, after all of these events this week… I go to my normal weigh in at Weight Watchers – and had a gain. While I was expecting to have a gain… it was double what I was expecting. So really another little bit of disappointment there. (Although I know I will drop that weight in no time!)
And last, but certainly not least… to top off the week, be ready to laugh at my expense (trust me!), tonight as I was driving home with the windows of my car open, a bird decided to crap on me. Yes it’s true!!! And as my mom said when I told her “it was the exclamation point to a really bad week.”
Getting through all of this wasn’t easy… so I want to thank my friends, family and coworkers for being there for me… and keeping me somewhat sane. You will never know how much that means and how much you all mean to me.
And really… there have been some bright spots to the week as well (so it wasn’t all dismal)… I got to see a movie I REALLY wanted to see and the fundraiser for our Breast Cancer 3-day at Culver’s was loads of fun – especially with the really yummy food!
As I begin my “pretend that life is grand and it will be” week… things are beginning to look up already. Everything at work is settling down and our rhythm is back… I am back on my Weight Watchers plan today for the first time in a week (bonus!) and finally, I am excited and ready to work our paper drive to raise money for our 3 day team.
Here’s to a week that will be much better…
me.
